Keeping It Real

That Mental B*tch Slap..

Scrolling through social media is such a mind numbing, routine task for most of us. I find myself on auto pilot scrolling and scrolling through memes, marketplace sales and people's opinions that have no weight on my life. A tool created for connecting and being social, it leaves us all more disconnected and anti-social than ever. I say it all the time, "If I weren't running a business that relies so heavily on social media, I would delete my social media". Would I really? I don't know. The thought is nice though.

Imposter syndrome is the negative takeaway for me. Being a photographer in an oversaturated market leads to so many doubtful days, wondering if I'm good enough to continue this, comparing my work to others, critiquing my prices and services until the enjoyment of it all is gone. Anyone and everyone can order a camera off the internet with a couple of kit lenses and call themselves a photographer. They start charging clients before they've learned said camera and then it's another persons work you're seeing on your social media, leaving you wondering if you're good enough or what the hell you're even doing with this.

The clients you do have are fantastic and you cherish the repeat clients for their continued patronage. Seeing love unfold, families grow, women gain confidence, it all makes the doubt worth it. You feel so blessed to be a small part of these people's journeys and be able to hold onto the little memories you've captured behind the lens. But what happens when those memories you've captured just fade away into untouched albums that are forgotten about? Never purchased, never downloaded, they've become 'ghosts' of beautiful moments gone by. The fact that I am writing this article in October makes the ghost analogy that much better. As a meme I read on one of those endless social media scrolls said "ghosted in October, how festive". I chuckle at my over dramatic tendencies but deep down it still makes me wonder why these memories just sit and wait in albums, waiting to be printed and hung on the walls of family homes. And why do people go through all the plan, prep and execution of photo shoots without the intention to obtain those memories? Makes you wonder right..

The imposter syndrome, absence of reviews on the photos you've spent hours, days, even months hand editing, the self doubt you've allowed to creep in all comes to a head and then....that mental bitch slap comes. I have had to deliver quite the mental bitch slap to myself several times. When I am comparing myself to other photographers and their work, I remind myself that photography is art and art is subjective and photographers shouldn't all have the same style and eye. When I am wondering why I haven't received any feedback on my photos, I let my inner salty self know that my clients are probably busy with their lives and just forgot to say anything rather than that they hate every single photo I delivered. Sometimes you just have to insert a big bitch slap right to the self doubt and move on with life.

My emotions get the best of me sometimes but when it all comes down to it, photography is my passion and I have to drive my passion as a business. There is no time for salty, sad bitches in business. Confidence, creativity and good vibes are what I am giving and I look forward to see what may come out of that.

-Shannon Walker